I'm Just Venting Today......(Don't Mind Me!)

My friends are sooooooooo funny, and that's why i love them. They get on my nerves sometimes, but at other times, they know just what to say and do to make me smile. I told my best friend, India, that i was getting the tattoo of my ex's named covered up and i asked her what i should get. She said, "Well shit, get MY name!" I laughed so hard, i cried, cause she was so on time with that one, and thats why i fucks with her. On to some other stuff that i've been meditating about. I realize now that any nigga i have must be a thinker. (I mean, i knew that i hated a dumb-ass nigga before, but now i know the true extent of it.) I want a for real THINKER, though, like a Tupac, or a Malcom X, or an Andre 3000. I absolutely LOVED Tupac. He was so smart it was ridiculous. I like some of his music, but i'm not die hard or anything. But yet, when old interviews come on, or when i read books about him, or when movies about him come out, i am drawn to him like a magnet. (At least to the instances where he's acting like he got some sense.) The guy was BRILLIANT. I want a deep-ass guy like that around. I am a deep person by nature, (I'm an Aquarius, ask about us), so silly shit and trivial conversations usually don't hold my interests. Therefore, silly niggas and trivial situations undoubtedly won't hold my interests either. I need a guy that i can talk politics and spirituality with, and then turn around and talk cartoons and music with too. I love Tupac because he was a genuine multi-faceted person. Yes, he had his "Thug-Life" moments, but he had his, "we need to raise awareness of the status of negativity in black culture" moments too. Life ain't all about bitches, hoes, cars, music, clothes, shoes, weed and hennessey. Some stuff is of real substance. Tupac knew that. Some people argue that he wasn't real, and that he never was a "real" thug, he went to the school of the arts, and all that shit. SO? Can you blame the guy for having a real DECENT talent that he wanted to hone? So what he never was really thugging? Tell me, do you think resorting to selling drugs and shooting your own people makes you MORE or LESS of a man? (Take a guess to what my answer is.) I believe that behind closed doors, Tupac was probably a loving, caring, genuine person who was selfless and considerate of those around him. He was a worker, that much has been proven by many. Even in interviews, many people say that he used to lock himself in the studio and write and record for days on end uninterrupted. He didn't smoke, drink, party, or screw frivolous women while he worked either-even Suge said that he banned that shit while he was working. I believe that when the cameras were on, all that crazy, common-ass-nigga shit he used to do was in relation to his job. He was ENTERTAINING. The guy WAS an actor, you know? But at home, he was probably a mama's boy. THAT'S WHAT I WANT!I want a mature guy who's intelligent and sensible. Somebody who has class, and saves his brawn for when its really neceassary. Someone who knows when to show his ass, and when not to. Somebody who has a craft that they are dedicated to perfecting. (No, standing on the corner doesn't count). Someone with goals, a conscience, a sense of humor, a sense of purpose, respect for himself and others, and a defining sense of love for other and himself. These are qualities that a MAN has. That's what i want.Something about Tupac though was just so intriguing. I wasn't even attracted to him in his videos and stuff, but when he used to sit down interviews and have real sensible ass conversations, the sex-appeal of him used to just ooze through the screen. Even the manner in which he conversed just had me infatuated. That was a MAN. He exerted powerfulness, without actually showing that it was his. He controlled many of his situations without being controlling. You could see that he had a sensitive side without being a needy little bitch. Hell, Jada Pinkett-Smith said it once-the muthafucka was just plain charismatic. That's what i want. Malcolm X, and Andre 3000 (OutKast) are other prime examples of the theory. Real men are MEN, assholes are BOYS who are in need of guidance. And unfortunately, i don't have time to be anybody's damn MapQuest.Another thing i noticed, i'm attracted to maturer men. For example: Jay-Z. I used to think that he was so ugly and rude, and crass, and i was like, "What the fuck is Beyonce' thinking?!" But now that Jay-Z is older, more mature, wiser, and acting like he got the sense his mama raised him with, i love the guy. Plus he dresses better now too. (Damn it, i love a guy in a suit!) He's calmer now, more reserved, he ain't rapping about the usual "nigga" topics no more. He's a businessman now, and that is what i find to be incredibly sexy. I love guys like that. He's got a little bit of that Tupac charismatic quality too. He's more laid back, but it's still a great combination. I wouldn't mind having one of those either. But it's funny how maturity and intelligence, (when displayed), can make a person go from being butt-ugly to being super attractive. If Jay-Z had approached me years ago when he was on that stupid "Hey Papi" shit, i'd have laughed in his face. (I've never been swayed by money and material things, so that wouldn't have even helped him out.) But now that he's on some Grown-Man business, if Beyonce'wasn't with him, he could probably get it. Same thing with Nas-i told you, i love a thinker-if he wasn't with Kelis, he'd be another one that i wouldn't mind taking a shot at. Point blank: i want a GROWN man, not a GROWING-UP man. somebody who knows his business and knows how to handle it efficiently. Maybe i'll just have to start checking out the 30 and over crowd. LOL! Another thing i noticed: i hate men over 16 in tees, jerseys, and jordans all damn day. I want a nigga in a button down, with some nice PANTS, not necessarily jeans, PANTS! Preferably, a casual suit. Think Jay-Z. I'll settle for a mixture of the two-Think Kanye West and Usher. But white tees, sweatpants, jerseys, save for doing house chores please. As i learned from my previous bf, ain't nothing worse than being the type of girl who lives in designer jeans, nice blouses, stillettos and pumps, and always having to go out and stand next to a nigga in a tee-shirt, ( a blank one at that), and sweatpants and timbs. I ain't going to dinner with you looking like that! Damn, at least look like you showered and spent some time in the mirror. It takes me at least an hour to get dressed, if you don't take at least half that time, you ain't done enough! I'm not all about clothes, but i do expect you to look half-decent when you stroll out your door. Hell, i keep my hair, nails, feet and eyebrows done, (and not at a cheap price either.) And my clothes clean, and well-put together, my mate could at least keep his clothes neat and IRONED! The "just rolled out of bed" look don't sit well with me. Turn-off! But i just wanted to get that off my chest, it really irks me when i see that. In conclusion: I want a man with some experience in his adulthood, cause these niggas who are just coming into it are not the business. I mean, there are a few who are like that-this guy i used to work with named Justin is one if them. He looked like a little Larenz Tate with long cornrows-but it was his humbleness and his intelligence that really caught my attention about him. Hell, he was so mature, and cool, and laid-back that i used to try and piss him off just to see if he would lose it. His parents had taught him well, he didn't. I wonder what happened to his little sexy self....hmmmmm. He's about what, 22, now. He was an Aries, i believe. HMMMMMMMMMMMM..........Maybe, maybe not. Oh well, back to fantasizing aboout sexy ass GROWN men with sense and solidarity. LOL!